venting

You know what? Screw you, Mr. Q! On top of all the other reasons why what you did to me sucked, I need to throw out one more.

I'm tired of being a nanny.

You were supposed to be my last job. I wanted that job for one more year, and then I was going to go on to bigger and better things, though I have no earthly clue what those things were going to be. Now I'm sitting here searching for a job and I feel like crying. I don't want another nanny job. I don't want to start over with a new family, trying desperately not to fall in love with more kids that I can't keep. I want a break from kids before I get completely burned out. I want a chance to recover before I ever maybe have one of my own. I don't want my own child to feel like just another job to me - the last in a long succession of children that I've raised. We're not going to talk about having a kid for 7 more years, but I'd like to have at least a 5 year no-kid break before that time. Before it goes from being my full-time JOB to my full-time LIFE.

So what to do now? Being a nanny is what I'm good at. I know I'm good at it. One of the best. I have a distinct edge over other job candidates, which I don't have in any other industry. Plus, you get to be cooped up inside a giant house instead of cooped up inside a small office. I know I need to suck it up and do this one last time. I know I will end up doing it again. I'll be looking for high-end nanny jobs first thing tomorrow.

But right now, I just feel so damn tired...