the plot thickens

So Thomas' cousin Cody is going to be a big brother. The ultrasound on Wednesday indicated it's going to be a little girl, so Mommy has been talking to him about Cody's new baby sister. It's very exciting. Fast forward to this morning...

When Mommy goes to the laundry room, Thomas notices a bag full of baby stuff that Mommy has started collecting to give her sister. Thomas points at the bag and says, "That's for my baby sister!"

"No, Thomas, that's for Cody's baby sister." she reminds him.

"No, that's for my baby sister!"

Oh dear. As if the pressure wasn't already on, now he's already talking about his own baby sister as if it's a given fact. All day long, he told me about his sister. He doesn't understand that only Cody will be getting the baby sister. This should be fun.

only child?

Thomas is sad because his cousin doesn't live with him. I think it's making Mommy rethink the whole only-child thing. We shall see.

bored

I'm not sure what to do with Nice to Nanny anymore. I thought it was an awesome idea in the beginning, but that was when I just wanted to vent, give advice, and generally be cool. It's a lot harder with a great job. A weird complaint, right?

See, I'm torn, because a big part of me wants to share the blog with my boss. I know she would enjoy reading more stories from our days, and I could probably get permission to use pictures, and the whole thing would be a lot more interesting. I do have a video of him that she told me to put on YouTube, but it's a crappy cell phone video. An awesome, hilarious video, but very low quality.

On the other hand, if my boss knows about the site, I can't ever rant about the job on here. Not that I've ever had reason to, but I never like having a choice taken away from me. So I don't know what I'm going to do. For now, I'm just trying to finish out November. We'll see what happens after that.

hard to resist

I went shopping with my mom today. We stopped by the Gymboree outlet and oh my, was it hard not to go crazy. A lot of the shirts that I fell in love with last time, at the other Gymboree outlet store, were in clearance at this store. I could have easily bought Thomas a new wardrobe. Luckily, there were so many things that I wanted to buy that I walked out without buying anything. "It's hard," I told my mom, "because he's not really mine." She reminded me that they're always a little bit mine, but I said it wasn't the same. She knew. She's watched me with too many familes, and too many kids, over the years, not to understand.

As we walked out into the mall, I said, "Stores like that are just one more reason to wait many more years before having one of my own. I want to be able to afford to buy all the cute stuff when I fall in love with it." She told me that's what grandparents are for. Uh oh. I've never gotten any pressure to have kids from them before, but I fear it's coming soon...

good to be back

We were a bit worried about this morning. After 4 days with Mommy and Daddy, all of us expected Thomas to have a bit of a fit when they went to work. He is two, after all, and prone to separation anxiety fits from time to time. They can be heartbreaking, and we all knew a big one was coming this morning.

Luckily, I spotted a new Backyardigans DVD at the library on Saturday!

Oh yes, Mr. Thomas may have started out a bit clingy, but when I mentioned that new movie during breakfast, he was eager to drag me to his room to watch it. Then he told Mommy good-bye, gave her a kiss, and hardly looked back.

Thank you, creators of The Backyardigans. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

refreshed

I'm grateful for my long weekend. Not only have I gotten tons of stuff accomplished around the house, I am rested and eager to get back to work. I love my job, I really do. I feel blessed to have a job that I actually look forward to going to. I enjoy my work, I enjoy my job, and I'm not cooped up in an office all day. I'm sure I've written about this before, but I'm feeling it again tonight. Great kid, great bosses, great job, lucky nanny. If all the world had jobs that they loved, there would probably be no war. Or something like that.

difficulty

I realized this morning that a 4-day weekend is going to make it a bit harder to post every day. So we're going Off Topic today. Be brave. Hold on tight.

When I was a kid, maybe a teenager, I got dragged out the the Day-After-Thanksgiving sales with my mom. I believe this was before Black Friday was coined. At any rate, I hated it SO MUCH, I swore I'd never be like that. I do love a great deal, but not as much as I love my sleep. Also? I hate shopping on a normal day. I hate holiday shopping during the regular holiday season even more. So to face the crowds on the biggest shopping day of the year? When it's still dark outside? And there are people, oh my god, the people? Shoot me now.

So, to protest the commercialism, and mostly the traffic, I slept until 1:00pm yesterday. It was awesome! Thank you, Bosses, for the extra day off. Apparently I needed it.

a thanksgiving miracle?

It snowed yesterday. Big, fluffy flakes of snow. I hope Thomas got some at his house. He's been asking for snow for about a week now, but I really doubted he would see any this year. We live in a hot state to begin with, and this year has been really weird. His wish came true though, and we had a White Thanksgiving. Oh, happy day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

We'll be going to my parents' house, and later to my husband's parents' house. Thank God wine will be available all day long.

Thomas and I got ready for Thanksgiving yesterday by drawing turkeys and practicing what turkeys say. I tried all day to get him to say, "Gobble gobble gobble," to no avail. Then last night, I got a text message from Mommy that said, "Thomas was just asked what a turkey says, and he said, 'Gobble gobble'! Good job, Em!" Ah, my day's mission had been accomplished. Thanks, Thomas!

heart melting

In the middle on an oh-so-TWO afternoon, Thomas pauses as he runs by me in yet another circle. He throws his arms around me and says, "I love you, Em! I'm glad you're here today." Warm fuzzies, meet my heart.

I'm glad I'm here too, Thomas.

the beginning

I started this blog when I got spontaneously fired from my last job. I liked having an outlet to vent, without worries of being discovered. I did disguise facts, just in case any future bosses were to discover it. And then when I worked for the V family for my few-days-from-hell, I lost all energy to write. The experience was really quite upsetting.

About a month after that debacle, I thought I would finally start writing again. Then, on a whim, I answered an ad for a part-time position. Mostly I was just trying to fulfill my weekly application quota for unemployment. But there was something in this woman's ad that touched me. I answered it, even though I knew I couldn't really afford to work part-time.

The mom sounded really nice in her emails and on the phone, and the interview went really well. She offered me the job on the spot. I accepted, but the entire drive home I was freaking out. How could I accept a part-time job? What was I thinking? The interview was Friday. I spent all weekend stressing about it. I was hesitant to tell my husband that I had taken the job. After all, I had just told him I only applied in order to meet that quota. I didn't know what was going to happen. I feared I had made a HUGE mistake.

Accepting that job was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Okay, I could argue the point for several things throughout my life, but professionally, taking this job was a fantastic choice. By changing my income so drastically, I forced us to stick to a strict budget. Although I make about half of what I used to, this year has been tremendous for us. We have an actual savings account with real money in it, we have paid down a whole lot of debt, and we live more simply and happily than we ever have before.

Best of all, I'm working for a family that I love. The child is wonderful. The parents are amazing. They go above and beyond anything I've ever seen. They really do value me, and it's an awesome feeling. As a nanny, it's not that common to find these things. I'm not expected to do any housework or errands or anything except play with, and take care of, Thomas. Because of this, I end up doing a lot of little things around the house because I want to. I don't mind unloading the dishwasher or vacuuming the crumbs off the kitchen floor from time to time, because I know that they don't expect it of me. When I had some car trouble and asked for a recommendation for a mechanic? Daddy had it completely fixed for me by the end of the day, and wouldn't even hear of letting me pay him back for it. I went to work with a dead alternator and a lot of worries. I left work with a fixed car and a heart full of joy.

another milestone!

Today I put Thomas to bed for his nap in big-boy underwear.

HE WOKE UP DRY!

Hallelujah! We are one step closer to conquering this thing! Plus, I got some points for being the coolest nanny ever. Win-win-win.

it's perfect!

Look what I stumbled upon this weekend!

It's a Pablo the Penguin cake pan!

Thomas would go nuts over this! His birthday is coming up in the next few months. I'll have to tell Mommy about this. The look on his face on his birthday video would be classic!

This cake pan needs to be acquired ASAP!

why?

Is there any phase more obnoxious than the "Why?" phase? I thought this phases usually started at 3, but Thomas is ahead of schedule. He started with the Why?s several months ago. Oh, how I miss those days.

Because you know what is even MORE obnoxious than the "Why?" phase? The "Why not?" phase! Because, really, how do you answer this? He doesn't use it in context, he just asks Why Not to everything. We finally just started answering, "I don't know how to answer that!" to which, of course, he replies, "Why not?"

We were playing with a stuffed cow the other day. I was the voice of the cow, and whenever Thomas would tell the cow something, the cow would ask, "Why?" After two Why?s with two answers, I decided it was time to turn the tables. The cow asked Thomas, "Why not?" to which he relied, "Cause...I don't know how to answer that!" Ahh, mimicry.

fine

"I messy messy! I need to take a bath!"

"No, Thomas, you took a shower this morning!"

"Ooookay. I'll take a bath this weekend."

"That's a good idea. I'm sure you'll need a bath after you play at the park tomorrow with Cody."

"No, I not get messy at the park! I just play with Cody! I not get messy at the park...it'll be fine. It'll be fine!"

worst part of this job

No, it's not getting peed on, though that is far from pleasant. The worst part of this job is actually being bored on your days off! I've never had another job where I say, "Man, I wish I didn't have this paid time off today. This just totally sucks."

Today is just one of those days when I'd rather be working. It could be that I'm just missing Thomas, it could be that I'm having hide-and-seek withdrawls, or, most likely, that I'm just bummed about the fact that I actually have to go to the grocery store. Probably part of the first and the last. What can I say? The kid makes me laugh. Also, grocery shopping with no list or menu plans is just plain wrong.

sweetness and pee

As I wipe off his hands, he throws his little arms around me and squeezes me so tight. "I love you today! I just missed you on 'acation!"

I was out of town last Thursday-Sunday. Thomas has been extra-cuddly and sweet all week. Truly precious. He, like so many before him, really make me want my own someday. Someday in the far future. I still enjoy it when Mommy & Daddy come home waaay too much.

Not so precious? Today I got up from relaxing on the couch to find my back pocket soaking wet. How I didn't notice while sitting there, I have no clue. We didn't play in that room this morning, so it must have been from an accident early this morning, before I got there. Nice.

a new milestone

As I've mentioned, potty training with Thomas is going pretty well. As of yesterday, we have hit another milestone. Closer and closer to toilet independence we come.

Before naptime, Thomas always goes to the bathroom. His pacifier magically appears in his bed at that time. Because of this routine, it is really easy to get him ready for bed. Well, yesterday, he took off to go to the bathroom while I quickly stuck the pacifier in my pocket and followed him. I must have taken too long. By the time I got back to his bathroom, he was pulling up his pants. That's right, folks. Thomas, on his own, 1) pulled down his own pants and underwear (we've been working on this for awhile), 2) used the toilet all by himself, and 3) started dressing himself again. Ah, autonomy. I'm so proud.

better than boobies

Thomas has discovered breasts. It started when he poked Mommy's chest and announced, "Squishy!" Ever since then, he's been obsessed.

Today he poked me and said, "You got your squishies in there!" Ahh. So he is no longer describing them. Now he has named them. Squishies. I like it. It's cute. It's also pretty darn innocent-sounding. If he were to say something in public, it wouldn't be immediately obvious what he was referring to.

In a previous job, when the little boy asked what they were, the mom told him they were boobies. He walked around all day saying, "boobies" and poking me. I told her that I had just told him it was part of my body. "Oh," she said, "I wish I had thought of that." I wish you had thought of it too. It's a bit embarrassing to have to pretend it's not happening when you're out at the grocery store.

For a two year old boy, "squishies" > "boobies". Spread the word.

four dollars!

I bought Thomas a shirt yesterday at the Gymboree outlet. It's a yellow t-shirt with a race car and the word "Speedy" on the front. He will LOVE it! Daddy's a race car driver, and Thomas is into everything cars. We spend a lot of our days crashing cars or racing in the driveway. It's going to be perfect. I found a very cute hat too - race car on the front, "Pit Crew" on the back. Unfortunately, I noticed a stain on the bill before I bought it. I couldn't wipe it off, and they didn't have another one in his size. So sad. But I'm still excited about the shirt. It's going to be so perfect! Now my only problem is going to be waiting until Christmas to give it to him!

not even in arkansas

When I started watching the Q family, I was 22. The youngest boy was 4. As I drove the kids around to various sports practices on my first day, the 4-year old suddenly asked me, quite seriously, "So, Em, you got any grandkids?"

Umm...nope.

we teach him too well

Thomas knows that whenever we go outside to play, we have to put on his socks and shoes, his jacket, and his hat. He's generally very good about doing this, but I'm afraid it may have been hammered a bit too deep into his little head.

November is very mild this year. A little chilly, of course, but no so much that I've bothered digging my jacket out of the back of the closet. I'm a hot-natured person, and I rarely wear long sleeves. Even in winter, I'll usually take a jacket with me, but carry it around everywhere, never actually wearing it. There's a heater in my car, and there's always a heater on at the house, so I usually get too hot if I actually wear the jacket.

Thomas and I decided to go play outside the other day, and after I got him all dressed, including his jacket, I told him it was time to go. He stopped dead in his tracks and told me, "You need to wear your jacket." I explained that I didn't have a jacket. He looked at me very seriously and said, "You can't go outside without your jacket! It's cold!"

Well, shoot. I mean, what do you do with that? I was completely floored. On one hand, I didn't want to invalidate what he has been taught by telling him that I didn't need a jacket to play outside, but on the other hand, I knew that he needed to get some energy burned off before naptime. After standing in silence for a moment, I told him that I forgot my jacket at home, but I would wear my sunglasses instead. For whatever bizarre reason, this made perfect sense to him, and off we went.

at least he knows

As he pulls his long t-shirt down over his knees and shins, so only his feet are exposed:

"Thomas, you're being silly!"

"I AM silly!"

And off he ran.

something fishy

What is up with Bob and Wendy? I've had my eye on these two for years, and I swear they're not just business partners. Something is definitely going on there. That's some definite sexual tension if I've ever seen it. C'mon, Hit Entertainment! Show us the Bob & Wendy love! You hint at it enough, just give us a darn wedding. The machines could be the attendants. I'm pretty sure Dizzy would catch the bouquet. I can totally see the whole thing. Maybe you could make it into a special episode. Then you can make another spin-off of them building their dream home! And they could have a Baby Bobby Builder! But all this pretending-to-be-just-friends business? Frankly, I'm sick of it.

just what i've always wanted

We've been working on potty training with Thomas for quite some time now. He's pretty much got the peeing down, but he has yet to poop in the potty. He is good about trying every day, but no luck so far. We read books about going potty, we read books on the potty, offer encouragement, talk about what a big boy he is...and we offer bribes. Incentives, prizes, rewards, whatever you want to call them, it amounts to the same thing. We bribe the kid. At least, we try.

Well, Thomas is nothing if not a little myna bird, a mirror, a reminder to always watch watch whatever you say if he's within 1/2 mile of your mouth. Most of the time it's cute, sometimes it's not so good, and sometimes you just fall down laughing. What did I hear today?

"Em, if you go poop on the potty, I'm gonna give you a TROPHY!"

In the past, upon exiting the bathroom, I have heard, "Good job, Em!" and "I so proud of you!" I think the offer of an actual trophy takes the cake. I wonder where I should put it?

quite appropriate

We got out the stickers today. I told Thomas to pick one out to wear, and as usual, he picked one out for me as well. He chose a sticker of Thomas the Tank Engine for himself and gave me a sticker of Emily, the girl engine.

Thus, he provides me with the perfect cover, should I ever slip up and use the pseudonyms out loud....which I almost did today. There is a reason I picked "Thomas" as his online name, I assure you.

more commissioned artwork

This time, it was Tyrone. No specific version of Tyrone was attached to this request, so I just drew plain old Tyrone. Thomas drew Tyrone first, I guess to show me what he was wanting. His Tyrone can be seen in the top left corner. He then ran off to drive his car in circles around me.

I started off with the head and antlers. When I moved down to the shirt, Thomas pulled his car up beside me and stepped out. He stared down at the driveway and, completely flabbergasted, asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm...drawing with chalk?"

He thought about this for a moment, eventually replying, "Oh yeah. Because I told you to draw Tyrone. Good job, Em." And off he ran, back to to the car to drive more circles around me.

When I announced that I had finished, he came over to inspect my work. Now, I thought I had done a pretty good job replicating Tyrone from memory. I mean, I'm not an artist, but I thought he was pretty recognizable as a moose-like animal, and I had the stripes on the sweater and no pants. I was pretty proud of it.

Apparently, it wasn't so great. After carefully studying my portrait, Thomas grabbed a piece of chalk and made a few changes. Clearly, I hadn't made Tyrone's antlers long enough. Looking at the picture of the real Tyrone, I see that he was right. Silly nanny. What was I thinking?

what's in a name?

I've had to come up with pseudonyms for everyone mentioned on this site. Obviously, I would not use a child's real name online, but I also would not use my own name, nor the real names of any family I've ever worked for. Sometimes it's easy to come up with a name substitution. Sometimes it's a bit harder. I can't go into my methods, because it might be too easy to take the fake name and work it backwards until you find the real one. Since my career could, at some point, depend on privacy and discretion, I can't take any risks. Paranoid, much? Yeah...

I've worked for a total of 8 families as a nanny in some capacity. I have yet to even mention all of these families, let alone come up with fake names to represent them, but I think it's time. I'm trying to come up with something clever for each of them, and once I have the names established, I thought I'd go through and discuss each job. A post per day, explaining each one. The good, the bad, the ugly. Every job has been so incredibly different from all the others. It's really interesting to see how many different styles of living and parenting there are out there. Here's a very quick rundown of everyone I've worked for:

The * Family - a summer nanny job when I was a teenager
The * Family - another summer nanny job I had as a teenager
The * Family - my first real nanny job
The * Family - had sort of a nanny-share going with the Johnson Family
The * Family - a summer nanny job while I was in between real jobs
The Q Family - biggest job I've ever had
The V Family - worst job I've ever had
My Current Family - best job I've ever had

Okay, so I can't come up with names on the spot. Hopefully, as I'm writing about each of them, a brilliant pseudonym will suddenly pop into my head. Until then, Mr. Em (Mr. Nanny?) is politely requesting a turn on the computer. Seeing as I'm a nice wife, I shall oblige.

just one of many

Working for Mr. V in January was one of the worst weeks of my life, and it only lasted 3 days. I have never felt so degraded in my life. The man is a textbook Narcissist and a right pain-in-the-ass. He feels entitled to a perfect life, while doing nothing for himself, and finding fault in ever single one of his former employees. I still get stirred up inside just thinking about the crap I witnessed in those three days. Here is just one example:

I had just finished feeding Toddler Boy. I had removed his feeding tray and was holding/standing him up while cleaning mashed goo from all over his face, hands, and arms. I hear Mr. V calling from the back of the house, "Em? Can you come here for a minute?" I call back that I will be there in just a minute, and resume my cleaning of the gooey boy. I don't even start cleaning the dishes or the tray, just the kid. I throw him on my hip and walk to the back to see what Mr. V needs. This took all of 3 minutes, tops.

I find Mr. V in the laundry room, standing in front of the machines. He turns around when I enter the room, and says, in a disappointed tone, "Oh. I was going to to ask you to turn on the washer, but you took too long, so I just started it myself."

Oh. My. God. He called me from one end of the enormous house to the other, just to start the freaking washing machine? The washing machine he was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF?!? There are just no words strong enough to describe the utter disbelief that I felt. This was real. I was not hallucinating. It really just happened. Oh. My. God.

---

Well, that's a big enough dose of Mr. V for one night. As I said, recalling that week with that man still gets my insides stirred up. I'll revisit that time again, once I have regained my strength. Ohhhh, but I've just remembered. You may be wondering why Mr. V was home at all, seeing as I was there. You see, Mr. V does not work. Mr. V is not a stay-at-home-dad. He is an important man. Mr. V stays at home, along with his full-time nanny, and - wait for it - his TWO full-time personal assistants. You heard me correctly. I'll let that stew in your brain for awhile.

pop pop pop

This past week, Thomas has become totally fascinated with my gum. Like, completely fascinated. I popped a few quick bubbles on Monday and he immediately stopped dead in his tracks and asked, demanded to know, "What's that?" The accusatory words rushed out of his little mouth as if pushed by some magical force. I told him it was my gum. Seeing as I chew gum all the time, I thought this was a bit of an overreaction. He wanted to see it, I obliged, and then he kind of eyed me suspiciously, like, "I don't know what you're up to with this gum business, but I'm on to you." He kept looking at me. I smiled and chewed more quietly, and eventually he went back about the toys. After that, every time I'd pop a bubble even a tiny bubble, he would stop and give me the look, though he never asked about it again. I probably popped a few extra bubbles for my own amusement. Ahem.

Fast forward to Wednesday. Mommy's home and gives him a few fruit snacks for a snack, since he hadn't eaten since lunch. He ate them quickly and begged for more. These are the same fruit snacks, mind you, that he absolutely refused to even consider when I mentioned them as a choice earlier in the afternoon. Since I was not going for the giant-bucket-of-candy snack that he suggested, he had no interest in anything I had to offer. I know, I know, I'm so damn mean, making him starve like that. Even though I offered up everything in the entire house, I denied him the candy, and thus, am evil. Bad nanny.

So Mommy and I are talking about Halloween when Thomas wanders over to us, opens his mouth as wide as he can, and proclaims, "See! I got gum! I GOT GUM!" He was so darn proud that he got us to give him gum. Sooo proud.

I've been waiting ALL week for him to ask for gum. I knew he couldn't have it, but I didn't know how to convince him of that without MAJOR dramatics. The fact that he now thinks that fruit snacks are gum? A better solution could not have been found in the teacher's edition of a 7th grade math book. Of course, when he finally catches on that his "gum" neither pops nor lasts beyond 10 seconds, we may have to come up with a new strategy.

a creative afternoon

The scene: a perfect autumn day. The sun was shining, a gentle breeze was blowing, and we had decided to bless the driveway with our chalk masterpieces.

Mostly I was observing, but then, suddenly, my astounding artistic abilities were called into play. While I usually stick with flowers, bubble letters, and funny faces, I occasionally do accept requests. This was one of those days. Not for the first time, Thomas asked me to draw Yucky Man, one of the two supervillans from Race to the Tower of Power, his favorite Backyardigans episode of the day. Yucky Man is obviously played by Pablo, the blue penguin (what, you can't tell that's a penguin?!), and aspires to make the whole world "smelly, gross, and sticky." A fine role model. In case you can't tell, that is green goo shooting out of Yucky Man's hand.

Also in this picture, you might notice some of Thomas' own artwork. Right about Yucky Man himself is a beautiful swirl, representing the Tower of Power. To the right of that, you will see a beach, complete with sand from his sandbox. The beach is unrelated to our story, but I did think the use of actual sand was a nice touch. The green boat may or may not be the boat that Weather Woman and Captain Hammer use to sail across the lake, that is, until Yucky Man uses his supervillanous powers to turn that lake into a sea of gobbledy-goo! Man, the twists and turns in this episode...

And finally, at the very top, you can see the shadow of Thomas himself. CLEARLY the cutest little boy ever, yes?